My Dog is a Poop Wizard

My dog is a poop wizard.  I don't know how else to explain it.  It started when he was a young pup and pooped directly on my wife's foot as punishment for being ignored.  I have no picture proof (as she refused to keep the poop on her foot that long) but witnesses will attest to it happening.

The next occurrence I refer to as the "roasted marshmallow poop".  This bit of magic, if it isn't obvious, involves him somehow getting a turd stuck on the branch of a tiny tree about a foot off the ground.  

The next feat of poopery is what I call the "gymnastic poop".  This is his regular attempt to poop on large objects.  Often he will do a front paw handstand with one or both of his back feet on the object (or air) to poop as high as possible.  Next time you are on the crapper imagine doing your business while doing a handstand.  Truly remarkable.  

Next up is an act of revenge for.....well whatever irks a 7lb yorkie.  This is the "soup poop".  Not remarkable but definitely not your typical turd repository.

And finally we have the gravity defying "wall poop".  Details to note:  No poop smear.  No poop on the floor.  Just one splat of somewhat malleable poo on the wall.   

The look on his face tells you exactly how he feels about it.

My dog Toad is a poop wizard. 

From There to Here (Part 3)

I've always subscribed to the philosophy that in life you are either improving or in decline. Virtually nothing in this world is static and ultimately you must commit or quit. Anything in the middle is likely a good opportunity to lie to yourself and say you "tried".  In April it was clear that I had "tried" but made no sacrifices worthy of real improvement.

I would suppose Sisyphus is likely the first Crossfitter.  The long and the short of the Greek myth: Sisyphus ticks off Zeus and is punished by rolling a rock up a hill over and over for all eternity.  The effort was deemed a punishment because the act of pushing the rock up a hill again and again and again was supposed to be demotivating (guess Zeus never had a day of wall balls).  And I too, like Sisyphus, was demotivated because my efforts (weak though they were) showed little to no progress.

So came the time to decide if I was going to give an honest effort or give up.  Already I had conceded the bet with my friend.  He was making good progress and had been attending 3 days a week for months.  But now was the time to decide if excuses and rationalization would win out over dedication.  To this point I had attended only 21 times from Thanksgiving to the beginning of May. Numbers don't lie.  This type of effort was not going to cut it.

Commit I did.  Diet changed.  More protein, less carbs, more vitamins, and less fried food.  3-4 classes per week.  More and better sleep.  Upgraded clothes/shoes (which are kind of underrated and a good topic to expand later).  All of these areas needed to change and from May to the present they have.  I've done everything you need to do to progress.  Since May 1st I've attended 45 classes.  And the results are encouraging. I've started to adjust physically to the rigorous exercises and gained strength while reducing body fat.  I no longer spend 2-3 hours after a workout recovering and staring into space.  I can do a workout and then do something productive with the rest of my evening.

So here we are at the present day and these are my choices moving forward.  The fall will be like the summer.  I'll keep pushing that rock up the hill.  Unlike Sisyphus I will be motivated from the struggle and I will improve.

From There to Here (Part 2)

The next leg of this journey required me to set foot in an actual gym.  No more talk, time for action.  I chose one of the newest gyms in town appropriately named Hidden Gym.  My wife had been going since it opened in early spring of 2015 and was pleased with the coaching, equipment, and atmosphere.  From what I had read prior to this endeavor, atmosphere and overall friendliness is a main factor to persistence.  So off I went to see about classes and membership.  After talking to Adam, one of the coaches, I was invited to the Foundations class that met Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. On October 1st, 2015, I attended my first class.

One of the fears I had about Crossfit were the demanding Olympic style lifts.  Many of them include positions putting significant weight above the head.  This was a concern for me personally due to shoulder inflexibility from two major injuries and a surgery.  As I eased into the first class, which a large portion of the time was spent stretching and instruction on proper technique, I knew we would be able to negotiate my current limitations.  For much of the fall and early winter I attended the Foundations class 1-2 times per week and built confidence in the different types of movements that would be crucial for when we were turned loose on the actual classes.  Not that we didn't do our share of workouts. The last portion of every Foundations class was a mini workout putting our skills learned earlier to the test.  

During this time I learned just how out of shape I was and how my lifestyle/work life was negatively impacting my health.  Only attending once a week at times really did little to improve my fitness, but helped me attain what I needed to know for later.  The fall was extremely busy for me and attending twice a week was the maximum I could achieve.  While I struggled with motivation and energy, I certainly had no qualms with the quality of the instruction at Hidden Gym.  Jack, Adam, and Brendan were stellar in their attention to detail and demands of excellence in our technique.  Add in a healthy dose of verbal motivation and you have a very good environment in which to thrive.  More on these fine folks in a later post.

In early January it was time to leave the Foundations class nest and fly in real classes.  I still had qualms about moving on as I really had not improved my fitness level.  But move on I did.  Full classes were a mighty struggle.  When in the Foundations class I was surrounded by folks that were pretty near where I was in fitness and flexibility so I had a comfort zone.  When in the full class I was a stranger in a strange land.  I was older than everyone by at LEAST 10 years and needed to scale just about every movement (more on Crossfit terminology later).  I'm a competitive person and it killed me a little bit every class to finish last in weight and last in time.  I lie there gulping like a fish out of water, feeling more than a little out of place.  

The early months made me feel old.  I felt like I didn't belong in this place of fit and young people no matter how nice, friendly, and welcoming they were.  I was confronting months and months of bad choices both in my lifestyle and in my diet.  Many a day over the winter and spring of 2016 I wondered where I fit in.  I was too active for my age group (and Globo Gym as it is called by crossfitters), but clearly no match for this group around me.  Did I mention I'm competitive?  And stubborn.  Most of the time those two qualities are a hinderance to my life.  But not for this.  

Next up.  The summer of commitment.

N