Since I have been a slacker and not written anything for a bit please enjoy these posts from last year. N
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
So people will tell you there are things you HAVE to do. My friend Dave Yantz always used to tell me there is nothing you have to do, only things you want to do. Well I have a new item on the list of things I WANT to do.
So I go boating this weekend. It's a beautiful day. Sunny, calm breeze, and a balmy 88 degrees (which is about 170 in Oklahoma temp). I am meeting some friends out at the lake a little later on in the day so I decided to go ahead and put the boat in the water early to get it running nicely and cleaned up. After all, it had been since last September since it was last used.
All was going well with the day, save for the neck pinch I woke up with. It seems that at some point during the night Spock gave me the Vulcan pinch and I could not turn my head when I woke up. However, that was nothing 1000mg of Aleve and two beers couldn't fix so I was off for the lake. Boat hooked up, cooler full, and swim trunks strapped on.
As I arrived at the lake it became clear that I was not the only Okie that had the bright idea that joining the Redneck Yacht Club was the thing to do that day. The trucks with boats in tow were descending upon the boat ramp like refugees on a rice truck. However I managed to secure a spot on the ramp, backed the boat down to just short of the water, and quickly jumped out to prepare the boat.
Now most forms of vehicle have a pre-launch routine. Airplanes, boats, sailboats, cars, motorcycles, space shuttle…Gas...check, retention hook off....check, cooler full....check, Bon Jovi/Winger/Motley Crue mix tape.....errrrr check.
Ok so all is going well. I put the motor down and fire that 1989 mercruiser up. The envy of all Hyundai owners. I back the boat off the trailer and cruse up to the dock a mear 50 feet away. Triumphantly I tie off my noble steed (I mean 17 foot faded ski boat) and strut back to my Jeep to park the trailer.
After parking I am feeling pretty good. Typically this is a two person operation, and I on this grand day have in the midst of a gaggle of boats have done it in rather fine fashion and fairly quickly. However as I stride down the hill toward the boat ramp in my sport Tevas' I notice that the engine is not running. Yes, no lawnmower like rumble to greet me as I prepare to disembark.
......and huh, did the old girl always sit that low in the water? I know the old girl has a few years on her but dang. And then the WTF moment hits me as the final brain cell shrugged off the painkiller induced haze. DID I PUT THE PLUG IN? Oh, but I need not wait long to answer that question. As I approach the now precariously listing boat I see water bubbling up from the storage hatch of the boat like a drain in a female res hall shower. Was I too late?! In only a few short moments the boat had taken on a full TWO FEET of water.
Frantically (in a cool and studly manner) I jump into the boat and look for the plug. No luck. Ok, next plan, slow the sinking. BILGE PUMP. YES! So I turn on the pump and a geyser of water starts shooting out the back of the boat. Excellent, this will give me precious extra moments. The plug now located I focus on keeping the now 2 1/2 feet under boat above water. I reach down to put the plug in (which is below the engine in the very back. helpful for draining, but under the heavy part of the boat, helpful for sinking). No luck, can't reach it.
As luck would have it a very pretty girl was watching ALL of this. She sweetly says "Need any help?". With as much dignity as I could muster I growl "No, I've got it" then dive into the water to find the plug hole. Nearly needing to submerge my head, I find the plug hole, secure the brass plug and stop the bleeding.
Only an agonizing 20 minutes running the pump later I was able to start the engine, and limp out to the middle of the lake with plan only to return home under the cover of darkness.
There are only things you want to do, not things you have to do. I want to put the plug in my boat.
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