Boat issues part duh

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

End of my rope...if I had one

I had some individuals tell me when I purchased a boat last summer that the owner has two happy days. The day you buy it and the day you sell it. I laughed at this witty little saying. Now the people that read these blogs are the only ones laughing.

At last we left this saga I had narrowly rescued the dilapidated boat from a watery embarrassing grave. Boating really isn't that difficult, unless you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic that day. Well whatever shred of mariner dignity I had is now at the bottom of the party cove and has a neighbor made of lead. More on that in a moment.

I had nearly shrugged off the previous boating trip adventure by traversing nearly 1500 miles and visiting northern New Mexico. A grand sight to be sure. So upon my arrival back in Oklahoma, I thought I would take another crack at this weekend "fun" thing. After all, it was just past our nations' birthday, and surely I had exercised all the bad luck I was going to have this summer.

Once again the water entrance procedure was undertaken, but this time my keen sense of preparation prodded me to put the plug in nearly three weeks before so as to avoid any potential mishaps should I be distracted by oh something as far fetched as the Loch Ness Monster.

Success. Boat on water good. Engine running, better. Cooler full, best. So off we go (I have a passenger who will remain anonymous). Away we go speeding off to the party cove, sun glistening off the aluminum railings, water splashing up in a fine mist that creates a faint rainbow when superimposed against the sun, and the "splash, splash, splash" of the bow cutting through the gently rising waves. Heaven. It was finally here. Nothing could stop us now. Except…

Rounding the final point and entering the mouth of the cove it became clear that this truly would be a glorious day. Boats of all shapes and sizes filled the cove. In every direction people of all ages could be seen frolicking in the water, consuming ceremonial juices, and cavorting about as if not a care in the world.

While taking this all in, the engine gave a quick chug, a glug, and a chunk, then stopped. No worries, we can crank it back up. No avail. Still no problem. Toss out the anchor. After all we really were where we needed to be. And hey worry about how to get back later. Time for fun.

We had landed a bit close to the next boat, so being the amicable chap I am, I pulled up anchor, tossed it out another 10 feet, tied off the anchor, and then settled in to enjoy some complex carbohydrates. My passenger then noticed that we were indeed much to close to the next boat to be safe.

At this point I remembered things from my childhood that I had laughed at my father for. I remember specifically a fishing trip where he had gotten so excited to find fish surfacing in a section of the lake that he tossed out the anchor with no rope attached. How HILARIOUS. I couldn't help but laugh and it provided a good memory, but I would never have anything like THAT happen.

So after glancing surprised at the owner of the ever nearing boat and quickly apologizing I glanced at where my perfectly tied fishermans loop should have been near the starboard bow of the boat. Huh, no rope. No worries I am sure its floating near the front of the boat. I mean it was 75 feet of rope and we were in a mere 9 feet. But it seems that I had splurged and purchased the rope with titanium woven into it and a density similar to a black hole. Lucky me.

Every boat must have backup after backup. Your main engine is primary, trolling motor for a fishing boat is secondary, then it is good ole person power. Good thing I had that trolling motor......oh wait I removed and sold that. Ok, no motor, no anchor, no trolling motor. Just paddle time now. Turns out that a 6 foot paddle really is not that handy to move a 18 foot boat. However, it works quite nicely to flag down lake patrol. And it is even more handy to haul yourself out of the muck as you swim your boat up to its trailer and winch it in from chest deep water.

So I really was happy when I bought this boat. Thank goodness I have one more happy day to look forward to. Soon.....

Update: But wait there is more! It appears that this boat doesn't limit its misery to a) water, or b) ME! So, this morning I awake to SCREECH....CRASH. Seems someone drove in front of our house too fast this morning, swerved around the boat and had a head-on collision with an SUV. Oh but how nice that this did bring the city inspectors out to look at the bushes on our property that overhang onto the road! Thank goodness they are giving us an ultimatum to prune them back and for me to move my boat out of the road or get a ticket. I am so happy to have it in the driveway soon. After all, who wants to park their car in the driveway when it can get egged on the street like the boat did two weeks ago. Yea!!!

If anyone feels the need to smoke dangerously, leave a candle unattended, or accidentally drop their Maldive cocktail then the boat is sitting at...... There might be some insurance $$$ in it for you.