Aww Meadow Park. Home of the affordable outside-of-town housing project. I can only imagine that one day when the world is ending, your inhabitants will be able to come together and defend your honor in a community style living. But for right now, they will settle with making the area as nonconformist as possible.
From the outside, Meadow Park looks like an enjoyable, family oriented, quiet neighborhood, complete with pond, picket fences, and people constantly mowing their yards. But just take a step inside and see its manifested glory for yourself. Not only is there a plethora of non-running automobiles parked in front (and back) yards to make a cheap car salesman drool with lust, unused boats/ATVs/and RVs abound galore. And though the lawns on the outside may seem manicured, it's a rainforest of growth on the inside of the private fences and 3 foot deep moats that surround most of the houses.
Got children? Bring them on down for the suburban world Four-wheeler ridin' contest. It doesn't matter if they are underaged, it doesn't even matter if they've got a helmet! Heck, they can even ride their mini-motorcycle or homeade from a plywood board go cart if they want. No suffocating safety rules here. We don't judge.
Have you realized how absolutely cool it is to ride a low seated/ape hanger handlebar bicycle around the hood? You earn extra style points for sagging pants and sunglasses at night.
Do you love dogs? I mean really big, obnoxious, eat a small child aggressive dogs? Look no further! And don't even worry about keeping them on a leash. Fences? Heck no! We don't need no stinkin' fences. Dogs are meant to run around and be free to chase whatever and whomever they wish. It keeps those annoying joggers and young children populations from overgrowth.
Want to own a car that is worth more than your house? You will fit right in. Sure, that shiny new $35K truck or corvette looks great in the the driveway of your 900 sq. foot home. Make sure to leave all the beer cans in the yard and the pitbull tied up to the side.
Do you enjoy firecrackers? Do you think they should be used for every holiday? Well, it's all kinds of fun for the kids to shoot them in the street every night of the week here in Meadow Park. Or if you want to live on the edge a bit, shoot them at your neighbors back yard/house. I'm sure they won't mind.
Grandmas welcome! Any grandma with annoying yappie dogs that escape from their yards to poop in yours will feel right at home in Meadow Park. Plus, any grandmas not being able to drive properly will be given free reign to leave angry notes on your door about how it's your fault that she backed into your parked car in your driveway.
It's not always your fault if someone shoe polishes your car. But being too lazy to wipe off the large, white, male genitalia gracing the back window of your beat up 1980s blazer is not frowned upon in this community. Maybe you feel that everyone should share in your lack of public decency. And why shouldn't they? Or maybe in the 1979 you knocked out the window to your sky blue, full size chevy van in a wild hippie lovemaking session. What better way to cover up your mistake by hanging the American flag over the hole. Nobody will question your motives now. Especially since you have six blood hounds that live in your house with you and your last name is Bumpus.
And lastly, are you a die hard OU fan but find yourself trapped in the Land of OSU? It's not like you went to OU or even college for that matter, but when it comes to dresscode and house decorations, some deep evil seeded impulse makes you splurge your child support money on cheap crimson t-shirts and a large OU banner to run up the flag pole in the front yard. You will never feel left out in Meadow Park.
I don't understand why more people aren't just chomping at the bits to pack up and move outside of town to this wonderland of economic suburban living. Maybe because it's technically in Noble county. Maybe because the cable company refuses to run any lines out this far (despite the fact that a neighbor has a cable bucket truck). Maybe it's the flood plains that rise around the houses whenever it rains. Whatever the reason may be, it's an unfair one and I shall investigate it further. Therefore, good night sweet land of honey, wifebeaters, and diapers until tomorrow when we meet again.
By guest blogger Annie Smith
No comments:
Post a Comment